This new government has only been in power for a few months, and there have already been three (yes three) "homosexual scandals". You can count on the Tories to be all repressed and hypocritical about sex, and after all those years of unimaginative, dour and shameless New Labour types, it's like a flashback to the 1980s. As the Pet Shop Boys lisped "Thcandal! Thuch a Thcandal!"
First was David Laws, who is technically Liberal Democrat. He resigned after three seconds when it turned out that he had claimed £40,000 expenses for renting rooms from his male partner. Then, it was Crispin Blunt (a name which sounds like a fictional flamboyant 1950s Cambridge spy) who has dropped the BOMBSHELL that he is gay (turns out his niece is Emily Blunt who was so camply wonderful in The Devil Wears Prada - I wonder if she can get him Meryl Streep's autograph?).
And even as the ink was drying on the Daily Mail over Blunt, there were onimous rumours that last Sunday's papers were going to reveal another huge gay Tory scandal. It was pretty easy to learn online that it was William Hague. I won't repeat some of the gossip I read about him, but it did raise my eyebrows (and as Divine said in Hairspray - I won't have to take my appetite suppressant tonight).
Today, the scandal unfolds. It turns out that Hague (49, bald) and his "special advisor", Chris Myers (25, attractive, thin, full head of hair) have been sharing hotel rooms together during campaigns. Here's a recent photo of them together. Do you think they make a lovely couple?
I must say, from a distance it almost looks like a picture of me and my husband (OK, so I haven't seen my 20s in a long time, but I said from a distance you bitch). I have no idea if either of them are gay, but Myers posture pings my gaydar (as does Hague's jeans - not very 49 year old Tory MP). They look like two A-Gays on their way to Waitrose to buy oranges for juicing for a fabulous dinner party (see my last posting).
Stranger still, Myers has resigned his position, citing "untrue and malicious allegations". Now, if the allegations are untrue, why would you feel the need to resign? Surely, you would hold your head up high, demand that the scurrilous rumour-mongers come up with proof, perhaps talk about suing them, and continue as normal. To resign... well it only raises further questions.
Hague has released a statement denying an "improper relationship", and pointing out that he and his wife Fion are doing very well, and have been trying for a child, despite her miscarriages.
There seem to have been a spate of stories about closeted men in the public eye recently - most of whom are in their 40s and 50s. As I said before, I have no idea if Hague is gay or not. But I wish these stories would just go away. If you are a closeted gay man in the public eye - for Chrissakes - just come out already. It's 2010. You are being very dreary. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of.