Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Review of Sex and the City movie (beware, spoilers)



Well... it wasn't very good.

The boom-mic should have been credited as it was in almost every scene. At one point I expected Samantha to reach up and start giving it head. It was distracting and annoying - couldn't it have been air-brushed or cut out or something?

The storyline was a lot of fuss about nothing. Carrie and "Big" decide to get married. But because of a series of painfully staged co-incidences, along with "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" communcation difficulties the wedding gets *gasp* called off. Though they get back together at the end. Charlotte has a baby. Miranda and Steve split up and get back together again. And Samantha... happily in love with Smith (who seems to have aged about 50 years - he is my how-not-to-get-old role model), is bored and tempted by the hot man next door. Rather than doing something about it - like talking to her partner and negotiating some sort of open relationship, or actually going out and getting some friends or something, she spends most of the film, alone in her home, eating and spying on the hot neighbour. Then, she decides she "loves herself" more than Smith, so announces he's dumped. And this - this! is viewed as a triumph and a "happy ending". There are so many things wrong with that, that I don't know where to begin.

The characters all got worked up over shoes and handbags and dresses and "fashion week" to the extent that I wanted a nuclear war to happen, or that monster out of Cloverfield to start attacking. Whenever they have a "problem", it was always about themselves and their immediate lives - and more often than not, they invent slights and upsets where none exist. For example, Samantha wanted an expensive piece of jewellry (because objects complete you) and had gone to an auction to bid for it. In the end she didn't get it, because her boyfriend (the soon to be dumped Smith) had kindly bought it for her. Now any normal person would be touched with his thoughtfulness and indulgence. But no, she had to wring some sort of insult out of this gift - now when she looked at it, she would think of him, rather than herself - and this was somehow bad.

As far as I'm concerned, the recession can't happen fast enough. Bring it on! All those people who contribute nothing to our society - fashion designers, people who write stupid non-news columns for newspapers, "PR" gurus etc - let them be the first to fall. When people can't afford food, they're certainly not going to waste their money on Gucci. In the sequel, I want to give Carrie some real problems. Let's put her out of a job. Then Big can be caught embezzling or something so he throws himself off his Penthouse. Carrie ends up a homeless street-hag - and (the irony) - she doesn't even have any shoes! The film could end with Charlotte getting "radicalised" and setting off a dirty bomb in Barneys, killing everyone.

This film is like looking at something on the verge of collapse - like the end of the Roman Empire or Weimar Germany. It depicts a bloated, self-absorbed, apolitical, shallow and anti-feminist society.

There is one scene about halfway through where Carrie (having split up with Big), has to be spoon-fed by Samantha. That's the image that will stay in my head the longest. A grotesque adult-child, unable to feed itself. You keep expected Woody Allen to show up, say he's from 200 years ago and ask where Luna is, and whether he can have a go of the orgasmatron. Except there is no revolution to be had here.

5 comments:

Dessie said...

Maybe I've missed the point, but that sounds very much like any SATC episode I've seen.

In fairness, I haven't seen that many.

Sparky said...

I think you've pretty much nailed it. One a certain level I got a kickout of the sheer camp of it, but I was really troubled by all the women in the audience who were so deeply invested in what was happening, whereas I always just assumed everyone realized it was a cartoon. People were crying at the end! And I was mostly horrified at the shameless, careless excess of it all.

Dessie said...

holymoly.co.uk/news/28/picture-from-the-new-sex-and-the-city-sequel-3388.html

Joe said...

The audience I saw it with were hooting, hollering, and cheering. I figured I'd avoid Manhattan for obvious reasons and instead saw it in Brooklyn. Of course the vapid self indulgence of SATC teaches us to hate Brooklyn. I agree on all points with you. Perhaps the running time aided in this. The fact that it was about three episodes in one made one realize just how irritating these self absorbed women really are. Since then Ive been telling anyone who asks the spoiler is Carrie dies in the end. Falls off the balcony of her new penthouse whilst trying to recover her beloved "Carrie" necklace that has slipped off her neck onto the ledge.

Flaming Nora said...

I did wonder about going to see the SATC Movie but your review confirms that I was right not to. Manolo Schmanolo.