So my skiing trip didn't go exactly as planned. Me and skiing have a bit of a love-hate relationship. I had lessons when I was 16 and enjoyed it, but the last time I went skiing, a few years ago, I'd forgotten most of it and ended up cracking my thorax (painful). So I was a bit unsure about skiing again. However, my friend assured me that he'd go over the basics with me again and it would be fine. He's a lovely person, with a rather naive way of looking at the world (I blame the fact he was brought up as a Mormon). I often feel like he's Rose from the Golden Girls, and I'm the other 3 Golden Girls when I'm with him.
Anyway, this morning we got kitted out with our skis and warm clothes and stuff, and then took the gondlier up the mountain. I'd only been on dry slopes before, and started to feel a bit concerned as the mountain didn't seem to end - 15 minutes later we were still on the gondlier. We eventually got to the top and my friend told me how to stop (snow-plough or twist your body sideways). Then he pointed at a slope and said "go down a little bit and then stop". So I tried. However, I wasn't able to stop and sped up instead. My friend was screaming "Stop! Stop!" so I threw myself on the ground, rolled a bit and stopped. Suddenly a ski instructor rushed up to us and said "YOU shouldn't be on the slope, you nearly crashed into one of my clients, you have to go back down the mountain!" So that was the end of my skiing. I was kind of relieved and spent the remainder of the day being pampered in the hotel.
My friend couldn't understand what had gone wrong: "I taught someone else to ski and they were OK!" (I resolved not to put any of my eggs in his basket from now on.) Anyway, at least I didn't break anything this time. I don't like skiers - they're all so extroverted and healthy-looking. I prefer people who don't go outside and are risk adverse.