Tuesday, June 05, 2007

No bra and all my own teeth - not bad for 35 eh?

Even though my teeth do not match up very well, I think I have a pretty reasonable set of them - for a British person anyway. But I wish I knew what the point of wisdom teeth were. Over the years I've had to have all mine out. And each time has resulted in the hole getting infected with days of agony. The last one came out on Wednesday. I'd been putting it off for years, but it was growing in sideways and had pushed the perfectly good tooth next to it on its side - what a bitch. It had all started to get painful so on Wednesday I popped into my dentist who cheerfully told me that I had too many teeth for the size of my mouth and the wisdom tooth would have to go. So £240 later I was given the tooth in a plastic bag, with instructions to take lots of Nurofen and salt water mouth washes. Although I obeyed the instructions, it was clear that something had gone wrong. The painkillers stopped working - and the pain - like nothing else you can experience. The side of my face swelled up, making me look like Paris Hilton. And my fella assured me that my breath smelt of death. I hate not being nice to be near. Anyway, I couldn't stand it any longer by Sunday night so went to the Liverpool NHS drop-in centre to queue with some drug addicts, who, to be fair, did look a lot worse off than me. The nurse told me there was nothing they could do for me as a) I wasn't local to Liverpool b) the drop-in centre didn't do dental stuff anyway and c) it was Sunday night. I was advised to take painkillers (which I already had). NHS drop-in centres seem like such a good idea and sometimes they can be great. But on the 2 out of 3 occasions I have "dropped in", all I've gained is experience in what it's like to wait for an hour in a room full of very poor, very angry, very ill people.

I got the train back to Bristol first thing in the morning and saw my own dentist. By this time I could barely open my mouth or speak. She's put me on anti-biotics and dressed the evil hole with something that tastes of cloves. I feel a bit better. I'm glad the worst is over. But I wonder how people 100 years ago coped with wisdom teeth before Codeine, Nurofen, Paracetamol and anti-biotics.


Fin De Fichier said...

Ageing pretty boy indeed! I think you look really good. Of course you brits age well because you have 1/2 the intensity of sunlight as we do.

Clove oil? Man, that is old skool. I doubt many American dentists would use it because they wouldn't be getting a kickback from a pharmaceutical company for it.


KAZ said...

I am sending loads of sympathy in your direction.
If it's any consolation you look georgeous. I bet your students all fall madly in love with you.

PoetX said...

I'm 35 and I don't look that hot, you're making the rest of us look bad Paul! Your fella is one lucky guy with or without the breath of death !

evilganome said...

All sympathy, I remember having mine out. (back before the surface of the earth cooled) I was miserable and lived on milkshakes for a week. Fortunately, I was still in possession of a metabolism at the time. If I did that now, I'd be the size of a house. Very handsome by the way!