Wednesday, December 13, 2006


How do you solve a problem like the Westboro Church? With its tacky "memorial" to Matthew Shephard, pictures of children holding signs that say "god hates fags" (there's child abuse for you) and its general mixture of crazy, hatred and bile, you couldn't really make them up. They're not the most attractive collection of religious lunatics I've ever come across. Shirley Phelps Roper (the daughter of leader Fred Phelps) looks and talks like an evil fairytale witch. You can imagine her appearing off-camera in the Blair Witch Project at the end, or playing the Wicked Witch of the West in an amateur production of The Wizard of Oz, performed solely by drag queens on crack. She's in dire need of hair help - has no-one told her that you can't get into heaven with split ends?

The following clip combines some of the craziest Westboro moments together - Phelps' notorious "FAG FAECES" 9/11 speech, as well as Shirley vs. Fox News (who are bizarrely positioned as the upholders of liberal thought) and best of all, a male Australian newscaster flirting with Phelps Jr and admiring his firm buttocks.

My favourite Westboro baiters though are the Landover Baptist Church, who, for the past 7 years have kept up a remarkable satire on Phelps and his cronies. The page also incorporates Betty "god told me to hate you" Bowers - who gives Shirley Phelps Roper a run for her money. And you can buy Nancy Boy Chrissy, a children's story about a little boy who wets himself, from a webpage which has been loving recreated to look like Amazon. And there's the story of how demons live in men's rectums, warranting the close inspection (often over a period of days) of young men's bottoms, by a selfless member of the church: "While Mr. Montrose was miraculously able to detect the flight of demons in patients over 50 without them even having to remove their trousers, it became clear that the demons inhabiting very young adult males were much more crafty and had to be tenaciously coaxed out - sometimes over several painstaking days."

You can also contribute to their forums, although it's sometimes unclear where parody ends and insane religious mania begins.

I guess if you didn't laugh, you'd cry. Glory!


matty said...

I agree -- sometimes all you can really do is just shrug and laugh.

digital_jay said...

That was so funny, seriously I just sat here and giggled alot.

I am mortified that they are allowed to spout such crap but hey its the USA, anything goes by the looks of it.

The Mule said...

I'm pleased to see that God hates Canada too. Bring it on!

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