Monday, September 11, 2006

Sleepless in Seattle

No, not the film but a description of me yesterday, all jet-lagged out. I've discovered I can regulate it with coffee, which helps though, and Seattle's the right place for that.

After waiting at the Canadian-American border for 90 minutes, finally a friendly immigration officer called Hoag stamped my passport, charged me 6 dollars and let me through. I went up the space needle, which was fun, and wanted to go on the monorail but it was broken. The place looks a bit like it could do with a spruce-up, and the roads are awful. My only frames of reference are coffee, Frasier, Microsoft and that dumb film. Oh well. Speaking of dumb films, I did get to see The Whicker Man remake, with Nicolas Cage. Over at the imdb there are hundreds of reviews giving it 1 star and saying it was the worst film ever seen. I actually quite enjoyed it - I must be very undiscerning. However, I mostly enjoyed it as the same way I like Showgirls - as a campy, unintentionally funny cult hit. It was always going to alienate its audience. "Intellectuals" will complain it isn't as good as the original because they always do and they hate the idea of remakes. Ordinary Joes will hate the unhappy ending and the fact that the main character is ageing Nicolas Cage rather than say, a shirtless Mark Ruffalo. Still, they didn't mess with the original storyline too much, though now the island is off from Seattle (oddly enough) and it's a weird matriarchy with lots of mannish women in it.

My fella phoned me in Tokyo (he is "Lost in Translation") to say that he'd bought us a replacement kettle - one of those fab ones that keep the water constantly at boiling rate so you can have instant hot drinks (and you feel like you're living in the future), we had one before but it broke. And he's also got a tiny video camera thingie. So I will join the ranks of youtube and start doing live blogs etc. Except I probably won't because I'm painfully awkward when you point a camera at me.

Just before I left Bristol, I had a dentist appointment. "Are you OK with your teeth?" asked the dentist. "Because we could fix them with new invisilign, a revolutionary teeth-straightening technology from California!" I had no idea my teeth were that bad (please tidy your "British people have awful teeth" stereotypes away) - even Americans tell me I have nice teeth. But apparently the bottom ones are not exactly in line with the top ones. "Tom Cruise has the same problem" said the dentist. He looked in my mouth and said "It will cost £4200 to fix. But actually, it's going to be very complicated for you. I don't think we can do it anyway." So I guess I'll have to live with a "problem" I didn't know I had.



Speaking of Tom Cruise - their baby looks scary. When I first saw it I thought a) it's had plastic surgery b) it's wearing a bad wig c) it looks like Damian the child of satan from the Omen films. But don't they look like a loving family. I'm convinced. Totally. No, really. I am. (Can you see his wonky teeth?)

1 comment:

KAZ said...

Judging by the HAIR that baby looks like it came from Tokyo.
I saw Nicholas cage in the 'Weather Man' so the 'Wicker Man' could be too much of a good thing.