Sunday, July 30, 2006

Highlights of Las Vegas

I haven't won a lot of money, but I did get 4 Aces at video poker, which earned me $20 on a 25c bet. Just call me the last of the big spenders.

Zumanity

A Circle De Soleil type extravaganza including 2 lesbian contortionists in a life-sized champagne glass, a cage-fight that ended in a gay kiss, 2 fat woman doing a naked pom-pom dance, and a love story involving a muscular dwarf. Boundaries were pushed - at least as far as the State of Nevada was concerned.

Helicopter Ride to the Grand Canyon

We were picked up in a limo (I felt like one of those women in the "get treated like a celebrity" Carphone Warehouse ads) and then flown up over the Strip of Las Vegas while Elvis sang Viva Las Vegas through the headphones. We saw the Hoover Dam and then on to the Grand Canyon - where it was blisteringly hot and beautiful. Everyone should travel by helicopter - all the time.

Night time on the Strip

The heat is still pushing 100 F. The pavement is littered with porn - literally - there are dozens of little men giving out cards for strip shows and the like, which then get dropped and trodden underfoot. Everywhere is crowded, and it's like being confronted by every single person who's appeared in the audience of Jerry Springer, plus the guests. Lots of angry, bitter drunks, who'd lost money, shouting at nobody and everybody. We stopped off at the Bellagio where Elton John was piped into the air and the fountains did a synchronised water show for us. It was kitsch and beautiful. When it was over, a woman who looked like Sue from Survivor series 1 applauded next to me and then laughted at herself for clapping at water.

The Liberace Museum

Dedicated to the tackiest showbiz persona ever - the man who invented bling. A variety of his over-the-top cars, pianos, outfits and jewellry were on display. More interesting though, was watching the unironically impressed reactions of the other visitors and their interactions with the reverent museum staff, who couldn't wait to impart their Liberace knowledge, as if they were talking about the Pope or a minor Deity

Getting propositioned by a football coach from Texas in the hotel jacuzzi

I said "I don't think so, but thankyou" and then fled back to my room before it turned into something out of nifty.org.

We are off to San Diego tomorrow, where maybe people will be a little more normal.

3 comments:

Rob7534 said...

Wow, that's a lot to take in. Sounds fantastic though, expecially the helicopter ride over the grand canyon, I never realized Vegas was that close to Arizona.

San Diego and normal don't really go together! So beware :)

Kelicious said...

Ok - wait...I was on the Papillion Helicopter tour on Sunday at noon...and there were a bunch of brits there...where you there!?

And I'm from Texas...coaches are usually hot.

matty said...

Ah, you guys are so close --- and, yet so far away!

Wish you were comign to SF! Could show ya the sites!

I am most jealous of your visit to the Liberace musuem. ...or, maybe not. I guess I need to think on that one. LOL!