Thursday, April 27, 2006

Visit from Aunt Mame

Last weekend an old friend came to stay from the weekend. He is a journo from Brighton - 6' 4' and with an even bigger personality. To say he is an extrovert is an understatement. He's just got his own radio show and he'll probably be famous this time next year.

So like a catalyst, he took a look at my life, and decided I needed to get out more, so I ended up going to one of Bristol's gay bars for the first time. It was actually quite nice and there was that frisson of being "fresh meat" where you know you are the subject of about twenty simultaneous conversations. Then he went to the loo and this awful person sidled up to me and tried to chat me up. I think my horror immediately registered because he took offence and started being rude. I'm reproducing part of the conversation here, because it was so bizarre, I can't really believe it occurred.

Him: You've got a good spot here.
Me: Yes, I came early.
Him: Hi, I'm XXX
Me: Hi.
Him: That's not much of a handshake.
Me: Oh
Him: This isn't going very well.
Me: I'm in a relationship so not looking for anything.
Him: Neither am I. I'm in a relationship too. He's gone home.
Me: Oh right. (my friend comes back at this point and introduce them).
Him: Can I ask you a question?
Friend: You can, but you might not get an answer
Him: What's your favourite academic subject to talk about?
Friend: Sociology.
Him: Urrrggh, poofy.
Me: We need to go. Now.
Him: You have man boobs and you have long hair.
Friend: They're pecs.

We left at that point, without bothering to say goodbye. Perhaps we was on drugs.

My friend complained that I don't make enough effort to stay in touch, so I have been inviegled into signing up for MSN. So if you want an IM chat, I'm now available.

My new favourite band at the moment are Zero 7, who have been around for ages. They've been described as the British version of Air, and it's about right. I especially love Simple Things and Give it Away. They are coming to Bristol next month and I'm thinking about buying a ticket.

I'm off to Glasgow tomorrow and have arranged to meet High Camp Caress Morrell. Maybe he can teach me a few dance moves.


Lost Boy said...

Ugh I hate being 'cruised'. As soon as you show you're not interested, things get nasty. Why is that? I once politely refused an extremely lewd request in a bar when I was more chicken than mutton and instead of taking the rebuff with good grace, my suitor said he was only talking to me because I was desperate and I was a skinny c*nt anyway. Best of all was that the idiot forgot we'd had this conversation and tried to chat me up TWO HOURS LATER in the exact same spot. Tsk. Enjoy Glasgow and say hi to Caress for me.

Dessie said...

I love Give It Away. Kudos to you. Have you heard Destiny? It's delish.

You have long hair? What a shit put down. As I often say... I've heard worse things from better people ;)

matty said...

I think you have great hair and are most cool! If you did not have your fella - I would have tried to chat you up, but I am nice when I cruise someone. Tho, it seems I get cruised more often than crusing.

...but on one EVER hits on me in bars/clubs. ...I get hit on at the oddest times and in the strangest of places.


I don't know what msn is -- isn't that the bad stuff put in Chinese food?!?! But, I do have yahoo instant messenger.


Reluctant Nomad said...

I gather you won't be going to the Bristol gay scene again too quickly?

I enjoy getting chatted up by those I want to chat me up. I've not had any rudeness from those who tried but saw that there was no reciprocal interest.

matty said...

...what's the gay scene like in the Midlands? ...Gay Times took away that little scenster charty-ma-go for the UK so I've no way of knowing.

matty said...

Hey Sexy Lubin! I met the son of the girl from FASTER PUSSYCAT KILL KILL -- the one who had the hour glass figure that gets kidnapped at the beginning of the movie. His dad is also the guy who played the priest who tosses himself out of Linda Blair's bedroom window in EXORCIST. And, this guy was the evil little brother of Keanu Reeves in RIVER's EDGE --- he was really sweet and cute, but married. Story of my life. He told me his mom now sells real estate. And, I gather, she doesn't discuss FPKK much. Just thought I would share my brush with greatness!

Reluctant Nomad said...

matt: were you asking me about the Midlands gay scene? Apparently Birmingham has a rather flourishing fun one but I've never been. I know that Northampton is too dire for words but Nottingham's small provincial scene is friendly and pleasant even if a bit incestuous.