Monday, April 17, 2006

Limp and Let Die

As Alan Partidge would say, it isn't Easter without a Bond film, and I had a DVD of Never Say Never Again which had been on a pile of unwatched films by the tv for about 6 months, so last night I bit the bullet and put it through the projector. I always struggle to stay awake through Bond films - they're usually about 40 minutes too long for me. And let's face it, they're all pretty much the same film with variations on a theme. This one was slightly different though because it wasn't made by the same production company who did the others. And it was Sean Connery's last Bond film - he was 53 at the time, although a well-preserved 53 at least.



Indeed, it's nice to see older people saving the world. We started thinking of alternative pensioner-esque titles to Bond films, like "On Her Majesty's Secret Hospice", "The Care Assistant Who Loved Me", "For Your Cataracts Only" and "Ibuprofen is Forever". Despite my mocking of Bond, I should come out of the closet as a secret fan. I even have 007 Top Trumps. Each card has a picture of a character from one of the films, with 6 attributes: Intelligence, Strength, Madness, Glamour (!), Evilmindedness and Perserverance. It's interesting to know that Sean in Dr No scores 20% on madness whereas he is 18% madness in Goldfinger (who decides these things?) I always choose Glamour anyway (you are OK unless you get Rosa Klebb who only has 2% Glamour). Don't think my Bond-obessions is totally low-brow though. There are loads of academic books on the subject and how it relates to British identity, feminism, sexuality etc. I recently read a collection of Bond essays, of which one was entitled "James Bond's Penis". It didn't live up to its promise though. However, new Bond, Daniel Craig is practically begging to do full-front nudity. And they do say a picture is worth 1000 words.

6 comments:

Rob7534 said...

I wasn't sure if Daniel Craig would make a good Bond. But since he's all gung ho to take it to the full monty, I'm all for him now!

Whip it out.

matty said...

I like that one Bond movie where he drops ski's off a mountain and these manacured hands reach out and catch him and Carly Simon sings that he is the best. ...and then there is much phalic dancing going on with giant guns and such. Tho, I am not sure I made it past that one scene.

I think Daniel Craig already flashed us in that movie about Bacon. I forget the name of the film, tho.

comatose said...

daniel craig is a bit like Christian Bale, in that he seems to always insist on a scene where he gets his kit off and shows us his incredibly lean muscley body. I'm sure he was in a previous Bond film in a pair of baby blue speedos - may have been Octopussy if my memory serves me.

matty said...

...wouln't it be kind of cool to name you daughter Octopussy? Hmmm... Probably best I don't have children.

Dessie said...

That and the overall level of difficulty it would involve, Matty ;)

rhino75 said...

I seem to remember already seeing Craigy's "bits" in that film where he shags a pensioner (Anne Reid, who used to be on Coronation Street, I think). Anyway, it made for uncomfortable viewing with my mum.