Friday, April 14, 2006

All-star Chen

CBS has announced that Big Brother 7 will be an all-star version, where viewers can vote in their favourite contestants of previous seasons from a pool of 20. For the past three summers I've been addicted to this show, which features a very complicated set of eviction rules, combined with dastardly scheming and alliance-breaking which makes Melrose Place look like a tea-party at a nunnery.

Best of all, hostess Julie Chen is a televisual phenomena - a whole cult has grown up around her on the internet, with her bizarre silver glittery spacesuit loungewear Kim Il Jung constumes, helmet hair and mechanical style of presenting, fans of "Chenbot" as she's known, linger on every awkward post-eviction intervew (or 'chenterogations' as we call them) and exchange clips of her weird verbal tics and fluffs (the Chenbot's Motherboard often gets overheated, causing her verbal algorithms to meltdown at least twice an episode).

I do hope that season 4's Alison makes a flamboyant return. Never has there been such a vilified tv bitch. This heart-of-ice beauty queen with the vocabulary of a drunken sailor was instrumental in eliminating every contestant (including her ex boyfriend - the season's hokey "X" factor put in couples who had broken up from doomed relationships, without bothering to tell them until everyone was safely locked inside). Alison used her hair, her breasts and her brain in order to wrap the men of the house round her little finger, until it was time to wave them buh-bye. However, although she got to the final 2, she lost to the equally horrible Jun, who's strategy was to sit back, eat chips, get fat and let Alison do all the dirty work. Alison went on to compete in the Amazing Race with another of her ex-boyfriends, but was eliminated in round 2. Sharpen your knives Alison, you'll be a shove-in, or I'll eat my hair.


matty said...

...I wonder if this is what Chen wanted when she was working her way up at the Tiffany Network.

Rob7534 said...

I beg to differ. The most villified B.I.T.C.H. on reality TV was that Jerry or Gerry girl from Survivor. She was evil incarnate.