Tuesday, March 07, 2006

You can get delirious (if you take life too serious)

Extract from "The Most Embarrassing Momements of 2006 - broadcast 2020

"Well as novelty songs go it had everything - nonsense lyrics, over-choreographed, lots of children doing break-dancing - awful singing - it was about 20 years behind the times. Yet it still got to number 1. How? How? Who bought it?

Reader, I put my hand up. It was me.

And I'm proud. I predicted big things for Chico late last year, and it's all come true. His signature tune Chico Time leapt in at number 1 this week, inasmuch the same way as projectile vomit can shoot a long way. Chico's new video shows that you can still hit the big time if you smash open your piggy bank and hand over £8.96 to studio producers. I don't think they actually had a proper set - just a big white gym and some rolls of coloured paper. But who cares - it's all in the song and the PERFORMANCE. Tom Jones had better watch his back, cos Chico's younger, both his hips (almost) work properly and his history as stripper/porn star tells us that he knows how to grind and be cheesy simultaneously.

Not since "It's Madison Time" have there been so many dance moves that you can try to perfect in the privacy of your own home. There's the "Stand on one leg, look sideways and throw your arms up" position. There's the "look at your pretend watch and pull a face" dance. Thre's the backwards moon-walk. There's the spin round on the spot and almost fall over dance. And if all else fails, simply point at the camera and make your eyes bulge.

The lyrics are a masterpiece of zen wisdom - "You can get delirious (if) you take life too serious." I love how he rhymes "erotic", "exotic" and "hypnotic" in the same line. Yoko Lennon will have a hard time accusing HIM of "moon" and "june" cliches. "Be happy to be free!" Chico demands. He is like, so totally, a contemporary philsopher.

Personally I prefer Chico's original performance at X Factor - it has a raw quality that I like. It reminds me of the centre-piece from a school play, performed in one of the less well-heeled parts of London - with Chico as the "cool" teacher who hogs the lime-light.

And particularly at one point towards the end when he's dancing alone with the two ladies either side of him, just after he says "come on baby bump (funk?) my body"- something seems to go wrong (I think it's supposed to be on purpose) and he pulls a shocked face before gathering himself together and continuing like a true pro.

I'm not sure if the world will ever be quite ready for a second hit. But let's hope so.


Rob7534 said...

Wow Luban, you are quite taken by this man! =)

Where are the links to his porn vids? I want to see him strip!

Contemporary pop music is so much fluff and PR. Good for him I say!

Rob7534 said...

Sorry, it's late, typos!

matty said...

...I love chico.

Lost Boy said...

I'm really not a fan of his at all. I guess he's this year's Cheeky Girls.

Dessie said...

So, so wrong.

matty said...

"...it can't be wrong when it feels soooo right" ...cause chico, he lights up my liiiiiiiiiiiife! (cue the deaf children with candeles, please)