Poor Ken. He hasn't had much luck lately. Dumped by Barbie and passed over for cooler toys like the obscene Bratz dolls. He doesn't even have gay icon status since the equally obscene Tom of Finland and Billy dolls came along and knocked him off the Clone Zone shelf and into the bin. But really, who could blame Barbie, the teenage girls and the gay men? After all, Ken was a bit of a minger.
But maybe all that's set to change. Ken's had an extreme makeover. Yes, the bitch is back, and as they say, it's almost as if she's never been away. Look! Look! Look! Gone is the plastic-moulded snot-coloured hair, with the uncool side parting, and in is a "real-look" thick bouffant, which can be styled with actual product. Ken's even developed a pair of cut-glass cheekbones and a 'tude that wouldn't be out of place on a cat-walk. And he's lost that innocent, goofy, doofus look.
Barbie - shallow little slut that she is, has taken one look at the new Ken and all is forgiven. Needless to say, the pair are due to "officially" announce the rekindling of their romance again on Valetine's Day. But I've heard that the filthy little madam has already been seen emerging from an old shoebox plucking (pubic) hairs out of her mouth. As for the Billy dolls - Barbie may find she's got competition - Ken is Fresh Meat, so Pretty-Boy'd better watch out they don't trap him in some dark corner of the toy box so's he can ride the Welcome Wagon (that's prison slang).