Celebrity Big Brother wound to its conclusion on Friday, with Davina on danger-money as she oversaw 6 eviction interviews in one evening, in front of a baying crowd which reminded me of a bunch of people who had caught the angry-zombie virus in 28 Days Later. I was amazed that the lovely Preston came 4th place. I actually find his music pretty good. I always complain at this blog that the baying crowd are "de trop" but even I had a horrible frisson of schaudenfraude when Pete Burns came out to hisses and chants of "off off off". At first he feigned enjoyment of the boos: "It's like 1978 all over again." But that didn't last for long: "They are getting right up my crack!" he said as an aside at one point. Normally, his northern-gay-dive drag-queen DJ viciousness can be funny, but there were a few points in the series when I thought that Pete overstepped the mark, particularly when he attacked Baywatch Traci for her over-use of the word "love". Someone needs to tell him that a statement like "I love your shoes" is perfectly acceptable idiomatic English, used to convey emphasis, inasmuch the same way as his constant "This is getting up my crack" is not intended to be literal. Dunce. It should also be pointed out that one of Pete's wittier lines "You can take a horticulture but you can't make her think" was first said by Dorothy Parker. Pete's misogyny - he sharpened his claws on almost every female housemate, reeks of someone who hates the attention that women receive from men. I feel very sorry for his boyfriend.
However, Pete was very much a by-the-numbers witch, offering no real suprises - his predictable insults could have been scripted by a computer. George Galloway on the other hand... Oh dear. While the media has made much of his cat-impersonation and his robot dancing, I can overlook these. Rather it was his bullying and intimidation that showed him up for the nasty piece of work that he is - telling Michael Barrymore "pour me another drink!" and attacking younger members of the household who had originally looked up to him. He and Mr Burns made a perfect pair of Ugly Sisters. His aim - to encourage young people to engage more in politics has spectacularly failed - all he did was earn disrespect. Now that Michael Barrymore has been rehabiliated (the Sun reports a tearful meeting with the father of the young man who died in his swimming pool) and can safely return to the UK to resume his tv career, he can probably sell his home in New Zealand. Perhaps Galloway can do a swap with him? Personally, I think George suffers from Little Man syndrome. If only he'd grown 4 inches taller he'd probably have had a perfectly satisfying job in accounting and nobody would ever have heard of him.
No doubt, in a couple of weeks it will all be forgotten. Who can remember what happened to last year's contestants? Kenzi? Caprice? Jeremy Edwards? They haven't exactly made front-page headlines since the show ended. At the end of the show, Davina told us that auditions for the next Big Brother are starting soon. Who'd go on the programme now when Big Brother is almost indistinguishable from Orwell's original creation?