Monday, December 19, 2005

A cup of boiling hot froth please, to go. And hold the chocolate sprinkles

My fella is a coffee addict. Whenever we go out, he needs to take regular (hourly) coffee breaks. We are unable to pass a Starbucks/Cafe Nero/Coffee Republic without him wanting to go in and get his fix. I, on the other hand, find that coffee works its way through my system very quickly so I can't have too much. I also get antsy if I have to sit anywhere for more than 5 minutes, so I'm usually rushing him to finish - my Dad is the same - we are the two most impatient men on the planet and my mother and my fella often exchange stories when they get together about how respectively we rush them to finish things. My fella knows that I have "the patience of a mayfly" as he calls it and we often play a weird, unspoken game in these coffee places where I will try very hard not to rush him and he will go even slower on purpose, knowing that at some point I'll just snap, then grab the coffee cup from him, drink the last few dregs myself and literally herd him out of the place.

One thing I hate about these coffee places is the Cappuchino. Who invented that drink? It's the most stupid, wasteful, time-consuming drink in the world. For one thing it takes forever to make and if you have a queue of 15 middle-class professionals in front of you all wanting cappuchinos then you might as well kiss goodbye to the rest of your day because you're going nowhere fast. And what's with all the frothy milk that takes ages to whisk up and then gets put on the top? It tastes of NOTHING. What's the point of it? I have a theory that it's probably cheaper than filling the whole cup with real coffee. All it does is stop your drink from cooling down naturally, so when you finally do drink it, it burns your entire mouth and then you're in pain for a week. Hateful drink. Worst of all, are the range of stupid Italian-sounding drinks and cup sizes - tall, vente, grande etc? Apparently "tall" is the small option. How's that for not making sense? And worse still are the people who insist on getting squirts of cream and chocolate sprinkles on their drinks. Why don't they just admit that what they want is a huge bar of chocolate and go and buy one instead of making me wait.

As you can imagine, I'm a lot of fun to take anywhere :)


matty said...

That is so cute that your mom and he share stories about you and your father! Cute and sweet! ...let him enjoy his coffee!

For me, it is an addiction to Diet Coke. ...but, i too, have trouble staying in one place very long. Very hyper. ...unless in a cinema with a popcorn and Diet Coke. I can sit for hours in that sort of situation.

Groc said...

as a 'no fuss no muss' black coffee drinker - I'm with you on this. I just think these are coffee-houses for people who really don't actually like coffee much - so they have to disguise it anyway they can.