Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Bitter enemies

I am enjoying the long-running feud between Eileen and Gail in Coronation Street. It is a conflict of stellar proportions, involving numerous "mucky looks", street fights played out on uneven cobbles and catty exchanges in the Rovers Return. Eileen is a somewhat frumsy (mumsy and frumpy) taxi firm operator. She has a laid-back, down to earth approach to life that makes her immediately likeable, despite the fact that her life is going nowhere. Gail, on the other hand resembles a constantly thwarted hamster, brimming over with repressed sexuality and misdirected rage. Her last relationship to a serial killer didn't really work out too well (as they tend not to), and since then she's been a right bitch. Both women are snobs in their own way. Gail thinks she's the Bees Knees because she lives in a mock-tudor semi-detached nightmare, where she can twiddle her net curtains at the depravity going on in the should-be-condemned terrace home that Eileen rents. But Eileen on the other hand has one son (Todd) who's a homosexual intellectual (he almost sat A Levels for goodness sake) and the other (Jason) who should really be in gay porn. Both sons have become somewhat involved with Gail's single-parent drone daughter Sarah-Louise, and Eileen knows that Sarah-Louise isn't good enough for either of them.

And to make matters worse, Gail and Eileen are currently waging a war over a scantily available resource (unmarried heterosexual men with speaking roles who are over the age of 45 and are NOT serial killers). Enter Phil - a rather weathered Scot and let battle commence. Gail is currently winning - she allowed Phil to "study" her for his dissertation on serial killers and one thing naturally led to another. But I suspect that Eileen has a few tricks up her ample sleeves. Ann Summers had better watch out because I suspect Eileen be making an emergency visit to stock up on black lacy things (size XXL) some time soon.

1 comment:

mike said...

At times like these, I wonder whether I made a big mistake when I gave up on Corrie, ten years ago last month.