Wednesday, May 25, 2005

If you are having trouble thinking of your next Halloween costume then can I suggest Fanny Craddock, a terrifying dragon lady tv cook of yesteryear, who treated her helpers (her tv "husband" Johnnie, her hapless assisant Sarah and random members of the public) with impatience and contempt, often appearing on the verge of a murderous rage that she would be unable to suppress the second the cameras stopped rolling.

Fanny was very posh and a terrible snob with it. She assumed her viewers were sad common women and talked down to them accordingly: "Here's a recipe for those lonely, old people who are living alone" or "This confectioners' custard only contains 3 egg yolks, so it won't break you." And "Prices are so terrible these days, but you have to be allowed ONE piece of decent cake a year." She despised feminism (why would she need such a thing - she already had TOTAL CONTROL) and in one programme complained about men who couldn't carve a turkey "I'm not such an clot as to support women's lib', but this really does drive me mad."

Two plays have been written about her (Fear of Fanny and Fanny Craddock - The Life and Loves of a Kitchen Devil". Oddly, before becoming famous, Fanny was a science fiction writer, perhaps she was an alien from Rocky Horror Show after all?

But it was her bizarre eye-popping face, Baby-Jane kabuki make-up, over-coiffered hair and glam outfits that made her the kitsch legend that she is today. I'm sure that there's a fledging drag queen out there, waiting to take on a Fanny persona, complete with a cookery show where the guests get beaten sensless by an out-of-control Fanny if they get anything wrong or dare to disagree with her.


Scott said...

This woman is frightening!

matty said...

this woman is my new idol.

Andrea said...

She looks like the love-child of Frank N Furter and Dame Barbara Cartland

david_h said...

Dear old Fanny Craddock. The most memorable moment of her TV appearances was when she and her hapless husband Johnny were cooking doughnuts. At the end of the item, Johnny looked to the camera and announced to viewers in all seriousness, "...and if you follow our instuctions to the letter, all your doughnuts will look like Fanny's"!


William John said...

This being truly existed?!?!

ROFL! That's hilarious, Andrea! :)

William John.

William John said...

Oh, BTW, Lubin... she so does very much look like Baby Jane! Especially the fourth image down!

"I've written dear daddy I love you... and I wish you were her to love..."

Oh yes. It's her! ;)

William John.

Trashbinder said...

It makes you wonder whether Jocelyn Wildenstein modelled herself on Ms Craddock.

Seriously scary piccies.

My Mother used to bake from a Fanny cookbook when I was a small boy.

matty said...

Can we find this woman on DVD?!?!?