Monday, January 10, 2005

Watching John McCirick throw a tantrum because he didn't get his milk and diet coke on Celebrity Big Brother last night must count as the first must-see tv moment of the year. McCirick is a relic - a product of an all-boys boarding school, raised in an era of Very Different Values (he refers to his wife as Booby for goodness sakes!) But what are his crimes? So far he has:
  • Shown disrespect to super-feminist Germaine Greer "Don't trip over the step, woman!" And moved away from her when she tried to show him kindness.
  • Told model Caprice that women who look like her have a cushy life because all they do is prance up and down catwalks.
  • Insulted Brigitte Neilson (a veteran of these programmes - she was on America's The Surreal Life last year - she appears shockingly out of her depth here though) by telling her that her forehead is unattractively lined and that she has a boy's haircut (she has since changed her hairstyle).
  • Told Happy Monday's mascot Bez that he couldn't imagine him parenting children.
  • Referred to little Kenzie, singer in Blazin' Squad as "the weakest person in the group" and screamed at him because he closed a door.
  • Told Hollyoaks heart-throb Jeremy Edwards that he's a "sneak".
  • Picked his nose in public and eaten the contents.

As desperate for attention as a hyper-active 2 year old, McCirick will do and say ANYTHING to get it. Only Germaine Greer seems to have realised this so far. The others are simply fighting back. Channel 4 is loving it though, and the cameras seem particularly obsessed with McCirick's obese body, which they are showing at every opportunity - it's like nobody who works on Big Brother has ever seen such a thing before ("Look! Look at this! What is it? What can it be?", and they are fascinated with it. They are also fascinated with his underwear (which to be honest, could probably house a small family). I have a feeling that McCirick has already burnt himself out and will be accordingly evicted/ignored ("Bored now!" think the people at Big Brother "Need new thing! Where shiny thing?") We can only hope for a gay snog/sexual awakening between Kenzie and Jeremy Edwards in the newly installed Big Brother sauna.


PJ said...

jackie stallone: she new shiny thing! and god, so shiny... how is it possible to have so little skin on a person? especially when most of it seems to have been called in to cover up her swollen collagen-lips... shiny, but scary. in a good way.

Lubin said...

Yes, it's like Joceyln Wildstein mated with a cat and the resulting baby had lots of plastic surgery. What we end up with is Jackie Stallone. New Shiny Thing!