Tuesday, March 09, 2004



I once knew someone who looked a bit like this - and rather cruelly used to call him "The-hills-have-eyes" behind his back.

I never knew that a film rental place could be so fruitful. I'd always looked down on them a bit in the past, but after being bored by the very limited choice on offer at the very local HMV, I decided to give one a look. Once I'd got over the initial smell of wet dog and Mrs Crazy McCrazy who decided she knew me (she didn't), my name was George (it isn't) and she wanted my opinion on whether she should rent out Identity, I realised it was OK.

Anyway, I rented out a few horror films and am coming to the conclusion that horror films are all about fears of social class. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, Wendigo, RoadKill, Jeepers Creepers, Wrong Turn, The Blair Witch Project... they all feature nice middle-class city types who get lost in the backwoords and encounter assorted pin-headed inbred hick hill-billy scary weirdos who want to eat their babies. The UK is a bit too small to have these vast unknown expanses of wilderness (also we sensibly don't have guns), but Dog Soldiers and An American Werewolf in London did their best. And zombie films? Fear of the proletariat. Vampire films - fear of the upper-classes.

Speaking of social class, I tuned in to The OC on Sunday, after reading a gushing review in the Guardian about it (plot - boy from rough neighbourhood is adopted by swanky family - moral messages are learnt). But I turned off, bored, vowing never to watch again. It has that awful earnestness and "knowingness" that Dawson's Creek had. No! I'm off American drama until we get the L Word.

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