Tuesday, January 06, 2004

As I've said before, Enterprise is a pile of stinky poo. I decided to give the new series another chance last night, but switched off after 15 minutes - Archer's shouting and posturing did nothing for me. Nothing!

What have we got to look forward to in this new series? North Star - an episode with a colony of humans living in the 19th Century American West (Archer and co should get along with them all then just fine then!) An episode where Archer and T'Pol go back to 2004 (yawn) and more battles with the aliens from the future (zzzz).

As the writers seem to have lost the plot, ideologically speaking of course - here are some suggestions for new directions - maybe someone could forward them on.

* Remove the boring one-dimensional characters - this includes the black guy, the English guy, the lady linguist, Tripp, Archer, the doctor, the dog. Oh that's just about everyone. Oh well. Or at least give them personalities.

* Stop with the time-travel storylines already! - if the writers need to keep bringing high-tech aliens from the future in, then they're basically admitting that they made a mistake by setting Enterprise in the (relative) past. Lo-tech can be fun. Go with it!

* Have main characters who are a little less clear-cut good or evil. Characters like Garak and Quark in DS9 were much more fascinating to watch - they were unpredictable, fun and funny. Surely we've progressed beyond the idea of having a western in space - which is basically what Enterprise has become.

Garak - a certain camp sensibility.

* Have more sex. DS9 and Voyager had sexual relationships and this was good. Stop all of this pussy-footing and backrubs and just let all the characters have some good hot sex! It'll work. And while you're at it. How about some gay sex. For all of its inclusionary rhetoric - Star Trek is stunningly homophobic - it can cope with a black captain and a female captain, so why not a gay captain? It's clear that in Star Trek there are still some areas of the universe where no-one can boldly go. Why not make Archer come out of the closet. Or at least introduce a new gay character - and make him tough (not a counsellor or effete doctor).
It's amazing that the writers have worked so hard to appear inclusive - creating teams on starships that tick all (but one) of the identity boxes - race and gender are represented equally. Yet there are no gay men (and lesbians are just there for temporary male titilation - as in the Kira/Kira kiss and Dax/female symbiont kiss).

America can cope with gay people - it got Will & Grace. It can cope with Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. At the moment, Star Trek's message is that there are no gay people in the future. And to be quite honest - that's not a future I want to have anything to do with.

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