Wednesday, August 13, 2003

The Kafkaesque Irony of British Telcom

Automated Voice: "Hello you've reached Britsh Telecom. Please enter your telephone number."
[I enter my number].
Automated voice: Press 1 for billing enquiries. Press 2 for [huge menu list etc]
[I press a number]
Operator: Hi, his is Sandra Jones speaking. What is your telephone number please?
[I tell her (again!) Why did they ask me to enter it in the first place?]
Operator: How can I help?
Me: I'm moving house on Friday. Can I get a new telephone number?
Operator: What's your customer account number?
Me: I don't know. I always pay by direct debit and throw my bills away.
Operator: In that case we can't do it now.
Me: How long will it take?
Operator: Seven days.
Me: Is there any way I can find out my account number?
Operator: Yes, you can request us to send you a copy of your last bill.
Me: OK, can you do that?
Operator: Just putting you through sir...
[long wait]
Automated Voice: Hello. The Office is closed. Please try again tomorrow.

The next day.
Me: Hello, can I request a copy of my bill.
Operator: Certainly. What's your account number?
Me: I don't know. That's why I'm requesting a copy of my bill.
Operator: I'm sorry. We can't send you your bill unless you have your account number.

And so it goes on....

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