Friday, January 24, 2003

In light of the Queen's wonderful trouser suit incident last week, I've been wondering which Royal has the most outrageous fashion sense, and what do their clothes tell us about their TRUE SELVES?

What is Edward trying to tell us with this glossy, rather American-looking picture? The hand position suggests he's trying to do the "poor man's face-lift", drawing back the baggy skin to make him look like the young chicken he once was. And what's that big ring on the little finger all about? Mental note - dark colours aren't always slimming...

Ah, the young Princes. But what's going on? What sort of sport forces you to dress like a kinky catalogue model from the 1980s? Few people can pull off primary colours, so it's probably best to stick to a nice safe sport where clothes don't matter, like Scrabble.

Poor Princess Anne. She never gets it quite right does she? This picture looks like she's wandered into some public function in her quilted dressing gown again. As for that hairstyle - quiffs went out with Cliff Richard. Get over it!

Well, it's nice to know that the Royal Knickers are kept so Spotlessly Clean. That waistband is a little high and tight though. Charles needs to be careful - tight underwear can decrease your sperm count. He still may be called on to provide new heirs if anything (god forbid) happens to William and Harry.

And the winner is....

The Queen. Not afraid to be iconoclastical when she feels it necessary to prove a point, her bold trouser-suit combination with casually tied head-scarf ensemble is stylish, sassy and informal - like she's just popped down the market to buy some broken biscuits, but still has her pride. 10/10!

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